有效的情绪管理，不是消灭情绪，而是与情绪共存
<section style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: justify;" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io"><section style="text-align: center; letter-spacing: 1.4px; padding: 0px 18px; color: rgb(27, 107, 196); box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section><p><font size="3"><source src="https://res.wx.qq.com/voice/getvoice?mediaid=MzA4NTU3NjAwNl8yNjUwMDU4OTA2" type="audio/mpeg">msg_error_browser_too_low</audio><br><br></font></p><p style="text-align: center;"><font size="2">有效的情绪管理，不是消灭情绪，而是与情绪共存</font></p></section><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);"><font size="2">（转述师：幸而）</font></span><br></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">什么是有效的情绪管理？</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;">有效的情绪管理，说的不是消灭情绪，而是和情绪共存。</span></strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(178, 177, 177); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, system-ui, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.5px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><font size="3">01 </font></span></strong></span></strong></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">很多人，在遇到情绪问题的时候，都会下意识的想要清除自己的负面情绪。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; box-sizing: border-box;">每次看到孩子不好好写作业，我就很生气，怎样做才能不生气，不冲孩子发火呢？</strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;"><br></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;">每次要上台演讲或给老板做汇报的时候，我都会非常紧张，怎样才能不紧张呢？</strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;"><br></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">每次工作被批评的时候，我的心里都很难受，怎样才能不难受呢？</strong></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">这些就是我们遇到情绪问题时的第一反应。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">但事实却是，消灭情绪不仅不现实，而且还有害。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">为什么？</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">因为，是人就会有情绪，无论是正面情绪还是负面情绪。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">要人去消灭情绪，就好像要求太阳不要发光一样，常常徒劳无功。</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">而情绪到底是什么呢?</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">情绪其实就是“信使”，当你的情绪发生时，你就收到了一个来自自己的信件。 </font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">比如：当你遇到好事的时候，你会感到高兴，当你失去珍视之物的时候，你会感到伤心，当你遇到危险的时候，你会感到害怕，当你被侵犯的时候，你会感到愤怒。</span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"></span></strong></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"> </font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">而如果真的消灭了情绪，那么当你遇到危险的时候就不会去躲避；当你受到侵犯的时候就不会去反抗；当你面对珍视之物的时候就不会去珍惜。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">虽然，你没有了伤心，但是你也再不会有喜悦。</font></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"> </font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">可见，消灭情绪带给人的不是平静，而是麻木，而麻木是有害的。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">所以，有效的情绪管理，并不意味着要去消灭情绪，当然也不是被情绪裹挟，而是与情绪共存，并继续向前。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">什么意思呢？</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; box-sizing: border-box;">当看到孩子不好好写作业的时候，你依然还会生气，但是你也可以和孩子处好关系。</strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;"><br></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;">当上台演讲或给老板做汇报的时候，你依然会感到紧张，但是你也可以做好每一次的演讲和汇报。</strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;"><br></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></p><p style="color: rgb(125, 125, 125); font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">当被批评的时候，你依然会感到难受，但是你也可以继续做好自己的工作。</strong></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">与情绪共存，是我们情绪管理的基本态度。</font></span></strong></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="text-align: center; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(178, 177, 177); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, system-ui, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.5px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><font size="3">02 </font></span></strong></strong></span></p></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">情绪，只是一个症状，就像胃疼。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">胃疼，也许是因为胃食管返流症，也许是因为肝胃不和，也许是因为吃坏了东西......</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">如果医生不能找到你胃疼的根本原因，那就无法真正解决这个问题，就算你吃了止疼药，暂时不疼了，但它很可能之后又会卷土重来。 </font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3">对于情绪，也是同理，我们要处理的始终不是情绪本身，而是引发情绪的根源。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">那么，究竟什么是引发情绪的根源呢？</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"> </font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">从本质来说，情绪是对刺激作出反应的产物，也就是说情绪是一个因变量，因为刺激的产生而产生，也因刺激的改变而改变。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3">所以，情绪管理不是管理情绪，而是管理引起情绪的刺激。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">现在，让我们一起做个小练习，来理解一下这句话。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"> </font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">注意事项：保证你在安静的环境，并且过往没有较大创伤性经历的情况下，来做这个练习。</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">如果在这个练习中，你感到自己有些陷入情绪，请立即停止练习，做几个深呼吸，把关注力转向外界，把你看到的事物的名字一个一个的念出来，让你情绪软着陆。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">好，我们开始吧。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">首先，让自己处在一个平静的状态里。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">接下来，请你让自己生气起来，非常非常的生气，气到要打人的那种。根</span></strong><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">据我的要求，使用所有你能用的方法，让自己生气起来。</span></strong></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></strong></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"> </font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">当你气起来之后，请你再从这个生气的情绪中回到你最初的平静状态。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;">做完这个小练习后，我想邀请你想一想你都做了些什么，让自己生腾起了这样的情绪？</span><span style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;">你又做了什么，让自己重新回到了平静？</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">大部分人在做这个练习的时候，实际上是通过想象/回忆让自己生气的事/人，或者是通过刺激自己生气的语言等方式来让自己气起来的。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">如果不借助这些，你会发现，情绪是起不来的。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">而大部分人，会通过移除/改变刺激来实现让自己从生气中平静下来的结果。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3">由此可见，我们很难直接改变情绪，但是，我们可以通过改变引发情绪的刺激，从而改变情绪。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">那么，什么是引起情绪的刺激呢？</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">我们可以把刺激分为外部刺激和内部刺激两种。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">外部刺激，说的是来自于自身之外的刺激，包括你所处的环境、事情、他人。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，嘈杂的环境刺激使你烦躁；<span style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;">项目的最后期限让你焦虑；</span><span style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;">他人的批评令你伤心。</span><span style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;box-sizing: border-box;"> </span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">内部刺激，说的是来自于我们自身的刺激，包括自身的行为、想法、身体等。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，面对孩子不做作业，你打骂了孩子，事后又感到深深的自责和懊悔；面对项目的最后期限，你采取拖延的行为，从而感到非常的焦虑和不安。<span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 1.3px;">这些都是由自身行为所带来的情绪。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，面对项目的最后期限，你的头脑中出现了“要是出错了，我这辈子就完了”的想法，从而引发了持续的紧张和焦虑。<span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">这是由</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">自身想法所带来的情绪。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，身体的不适和疾病，缺乏休息，让你陷入了非常低落的情绪中。<span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">这是由</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">自身身体所带来的情绪。</span></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">当你知道是什么在刺激和引发你的情绪反应的时候，通过管理这个刺激本身，你就能够有效的管理自己的情绪。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="text-align: center; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><strong><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(178, 177, 177); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, system-ui, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.5px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><font size="3">03</font></span></strong></strong></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; text-align: justify;"><font size="3"><br></font></p></section><section style="text-align: center; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px;box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">可是，刺激这么多，如何定位究竟是什么刺激引发了我的情绪呢？<br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">1、通过一致性、一贯性和区分性这三个原则，初步定位刺激来源。</font></span></strong></p></section></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">1）一致性说的是，其他人在面对同样刺激的时候，情绪反应是否与你相同。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">如果你的答案是“是”，这就代表着较高的一致性；如果你的答案是“否”，则代表了较低的一致性。 </span><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"></span></strong></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，在面对项目的最后期限时，其他人都和你一样感到焦虑，这就是高一致性。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">2）一贯性说的是，你是否在任何情境和任何时候都对同一刺激做出相同的情绪反应。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">如果你的答案是“是”，这就代表着较高的一贯性；如果你的答案是“否”，则代表了较低的<span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">一贯</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">性</span>。 </font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，在以前的项目工作中，面对最后期限时你都是平静的，但这次，你却感到了非常强烈的焦虑，这就是低一贯性。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">3）区分性说的是，你是在多种刺激下都表现出这种情绪反应，还是仅在某一特定刺激下表现出这一情绪反应。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">如果你对多种刺激都会表现出同样的情绪反应，那就代表着低区分性</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">；</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">如果你只对某一特定刺激表现出某种情绪反应，则代表着高区分性</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">。</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: 1.3px;"></span></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><br></span></font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"> </font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，你不仅对项目工作的最后期限感到焦虑，他人的批评、孩子不写作业也都会让你焦虑，这就是低区分性。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3">知道了这三个点，有什么用呢？</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><font size="3"><br></font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><font size="3">从高一致性可以推出引发情绪的刺激为外部刺激。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><font size="3"><br></font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><font size="3">从高一贯性+低一致性，可以推出引发情绪的刺激为内部刺激，可能是你的想法、行为或身体。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><font size="3"><br></font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><font size="3">从高区分性+低一致性，可以推出引发情绪的刺激为内部刺激。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">......</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">通过这样的分析和推理，你就会知道引发自己情绪的刺激究竟是外部刺激还是内部刺激了。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">2、通过冰山模型，更进一步的定位内部刺激来源。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">引发情绪的内部刺激来源，除了前述的行为、想法、身体外，还可以按照由浅入深的顺序细分为四个部分，分别是：</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（1）未被满足的需求</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，当别人不尊重你的时候，你会有情绪反应，这时候引发你情绪的刺激就是未被满足的需求，即被尊重的需求。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">人的需求有很多种，按照马斯洛需求层次理论可以分为：生理需求、安全需求、归属和爱的需求、尊重需求和自我实现。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">你可以对照看一下，你的哪个需求没被满足，从而常常引发你的情绪。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（2）不合理的信念</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，看到孩子没在写作业，你就认为他以后一定没出息，于是非常生气。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">这时，引发你情绪的刺激就是你自己的不合理信念。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">不合理信念可以分为：绝对化、极端化、灾难化和过度概括等。不合理信念，也是我们的“思维边界”课程中的一部分。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（3）被违背的价值观</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，如果公平是你的价值观，当你看到你认为不公平的事情时，就会感到义愤填膺。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">这时，引发你情绪的刺激就是被违背的价值观。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">价值观是什么？它说的是那些对你来说，最为重要的事情。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（4）被否定的身份</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，你对自己身份的认同是“我是一个聪明人”，那么当你做出或遇到一些让自己看似很傻的事情的时候，你的身份认同就会被触动，从而产生低落或难过的情绪，这就是被否定的身份引发的情绪。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">什么是身份？</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">这里的身份，说的是你对自己的认同，比如我是聪明人，我是美女等。一旦被否定，就会出现相应的情绪。</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"></span></font></strong></p></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="text-align: center; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px;box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, system-ui, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(178, 177, 177); letter-spacing: 1.5px; overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(239, 84, 17); overflow-wrap: break-word !important; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><font size="3">04</font></span></strong></strong></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px;padding: 0px;box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3"><br></font></strong></p></section><section style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p></section><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62); letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2; padding: 0px 16px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">对于外部刺激，比如环境、事情、他人，统一的解决方案就是改变。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">这时，你可以改变环境，解决事情，面对他人。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">千万别逃避，逃避实际解决不了任何问题，只会让问题不断加重。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">如果对于外部刺激，我们已经做了很多努力，付出了很多，但最后仍然改无可改，这时候我们就要调整思路，把重心放到对内部刺激的调整上。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，在上海封控期间，我被隔壁小孩每天两次不定时，每次至少一小时，震耳欲聋的架子鼓吵到不行、非常生气的时候，我做出了各种尝试，包括上门沟通、楼长调节、居委沟通、报警，但都无济于事的时候。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">我就只能把调整情绪的重心，从外部刺激转换成内部刺激上。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3">毕竟，大多数情绪都是由内外刺激共同作用的。即便外部刺激无法改变，通过改变内部刺激也能起到缓解情绪的效果。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3"><br></font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; letter-spacing: 1.3px; line-height: 2;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">那么，我们又该如何改变内部刺激，从而改变情绪呢？</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">针对不同情形，有不同的改变方法。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（1）未被满足的需求</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong><font size="3">如果引发你情绪的是你未被满足的需求，那么你可以通过满足、降低、转移三种方式来处理。</font></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">什么是满足的方式？</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如：当你“被认可的需求”没有被满足的时候，你都会不高兴，这时你可以做的是通过参与一些活动去获得认可。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">虽然在这件事、这个人身上，你没能获得满足，但是，你可以在别的事或别的人身上获得这种满足，这样你被认可的需求在总体就是足够的，而你的情绪也就不会被引发了。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">什么是降低的方式？</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">降低，说的是减少对被认可的需要，本来我需要10分的认可，现在把10分认可降低到5分就足够了。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，我想要所有人都认可我，现在你可以把这个需求降低为 - 我只需要特定的人认可我就足够了。</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">什么是转移的方式？</font></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">转移，说的是我原来有个需求是老公能够陪我逛街，现在我把这个需求转移到闺蜜身上，闺蜜陪我逛街就足够了。</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（2）不合理的信念</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">如果你的不合理信念引发了情绪反应，你要做的就是：改变你的认知，重构你的认知。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">比如，我必须优秀，才值得被爱。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">这时，你就可以反问如下三个问题：</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">“优秀的标准和定义是什么？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">“当我不优秀的时候，有没有被人爱过？”</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">“这么想对你有好处吗？</span><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">是支持你还是阻碍你？</span><span style="font-size: medium; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">”</span></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（3）被违背的价值观</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">如果</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">你的价值观被违背，从而</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">引发了</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">情绪反应</span><span style="font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">，你要做的就是：</span>看见你的价值观，并在可能条件下尽可能的捍卫它。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">因此，这就需要你去持续的探索自己的价值观是什么？什么对你是重要的有价值的，是你看重的。</font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(239, 84, 17);box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3">（4）被否定的身份</font></span></strong></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><br></font></p><p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; box-sizing: border-box;"><font size="3"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">如果</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">你认同的身份被否定，从而</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">引发了</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">情绪反应</span><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei UI", "Microsoft YaHei", Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 1.3px;">，你要做的就是：建立稳固的自我。</span></font></p></section></section><p><br><font size="1" color="#c0c0c0">转载声明：本文转载自「艾菲的理想」，搜索「xiaoyaolsh」即可关注，[阅读原文]。点击右上角关注获取更多资讯！</font></p><p><font size="3"><br></font></p>花猫写作网拥有一帮喜欢读书、喜欢写作、喜欢分享传播正能量的朋友每天与你一起学习成长，在这里你不仅仅是收获知识。转载请联系花猫说（id:hmshuyouquan）进行授权转载。
页:
[1]